We all do it. We all have the shoulds; the things we should do. We should ourselves. I should do this, I shouldn’t eat this. Though should is better than shouldn’t I suppose. Less negative.

Why do I talk about this? Well, I was talking to my resident today, about healthy eating and exercise (she does neither, and she comfort eats too, takes one to know one). She looked downcast, bowed her head and said “I am on a bad path. I should exercise and eat a bit better, I should have some hobbies”

I said “should is not a very good word”, “I would say, what would you LIKE to do?”

She looked happy then. I think she appreciated that. I told her to nurture herself and that this can be quite a difficult thing to do.

Slowly, slowly, I am losing the shoulds. I am quite a bit happier for it. I find I am looking forward to a run or a wholesome meal, rather than dreading it or feeling that I should.

I am moving forward – case in point: Hubby bought me a giant freddo frog the other night. I broke off a dainty piece and daintily nibbled it.

Decapitated Freddo survived the night in the fridge! Go. Me. Yeah.

I have been feeling guilty about over-using the internet; gawking at blogs and couture porn. Now, I say that if I do something productive (e.g. housework, exercise etc) I can do as much frivolous net surfing GUILT FREE. Because couture porn is a good escape for me. And quite harmless as long as I don’t buy stuff. A way of nurturing myself. Therefore, it is not such a waste of time.

In other, totally unrelated news, my eyesight is schiessenhausen. I think I need new lenses. I am going to OPSM tomorrow.

4 responses »

  1. I think that’s a really healthy outlook you have, and good on you for passing that point of view onto your friend. Letting the ‘shoulds’ go allows you to make clean decisions of ‘can’ and ‘can’t’ or will and won’t- without surrendering to the guilt or blame or whatever other emotion rises up.

  2. Whenever I say “I should…” to Alison she also gets very suspicious and asks “Who says you should ….” and makes me question where that motivation is coming from. No way could I just decapitate Freddo- you have some will power my friend.

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