I get knocked down, but I get up again…

by Chumbawamba, one of the best beer anthems of the late 1990s, co-inciding with the beginning of university. Strangely, I never acquired a taste for beer. I more than compensated for this by getting a taste for Wine and Coffee during this time. Strange, that.

I started out very well intentioned today – really I did. I drove across town to meet up with Jay and Shells at jells at 0800. We had a 12km run planned. I thought I could do it – having done 10km runs recently. From the beginning though – plagued by niggles but more importantly unhelpful thoughts.

eg:  I didn’t lose any weight (I actually gained 400 grams this week blerk…), I am too fat to be running, I am holding Jay and Shells back, Why the hell am I bothering with this, Oh my God my ITB is twinging (it was only a twinge) Oh my God my hip is twinging (only really running up hills), I don’t know why I bother, I won’t make it, Why won’t the hammies and calves warm up dammit, I was much better than this a year ago blaah blah blah. This was interspersed with feeble attempts to try and talk to myself nicely. An acute loss of Mojo.

So about 3.7km in, I told the girls I was going home and not doing R4TK anymore.

Then I walked back to the car. I ran-walked. Then I saw a short, mildly chubby lady, running, powering up the hill. And I thought…..fuckit, if she can do it, I can too. So I ran with her for about a km – after asking her permission. She prolly ran 6:15ish ks. After that I felt good. And a bit more resolved.

So I got home and went straight to the gym. I put the tready up to 10km/hr (6 minute km) for 15 minutes – I had never managed this before. And I did it. A small but significant victory.

So the plan is this:

• I will attempt 4 laps of prinny (12.8km) sometime this week.
• If I can do this without significant discomfort, I will ask the sports doc and get the clearance from her.
• If I get clearance, I will do R4TK ( or maybe the lesser distance). I cannot wear my R4TK shirt in good conscience if I have not done the event.
• If I do the race, I will do it ALONE, with my music, and in my own time. I need to run my own race, not feel like I am holding people back.
• I will be Goddamn happy no matter what time I take, because I deserve to be happy with it.
• And I will attend drinks at Transport with my head held high, and only partake of the lemon lime and bitters / cokes (wine is too strong after a race).
• Because – as Dean Karnazes said, Walk if you have to, Crawl if you must, but never, ever give up.

I think that sounds like a plan. A sensible plan. I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately, and getting a bit down on myself for not being as fast as Jay or Shells. I just need to be the best that I can be.

Ok……

After the gym, I went to the Sydney Road festival. It was good to have a wander around. I bought myself some things (Birthday presents)

A pretty purple pair of shoes (at 49 bux, down from about 220)

And this – a silver pendant. This will be my birthday present from my mother in law 🙂

I also passed by the vegetarian network of victoria marquee. I have been interested in cutting down my meat intake for a little while, and becoming increasingly concerned by the animal welfare and environmental aspects – I only buy free range chicken and eggs. But a few people I know are vegetarian, and they are very slim, fit and healthy, with no major deficiencies. So I picked up a few pamphlets. And I bought a book called “the CSIRO perfidy”, a polemic against the CSIRO total wellbeing diet. I will let you all know what it says.

So hopefully I stay in a less stinky mindset. And stay well. And injury free. And get a little lighter next week. I need to pat myself on the back and not rely on others to do it for me.

Nurses and Intervals and Diets (oh, my!)

Nurses:

Jo, the continence nurse where I work, is doing trailwalker. I found this out when I went to get some info from her for a presentation I am doing. I joked “I should use one of those big nappies for a long run”. She said “I used to run, but now I am training for trailwalker.” I said “ohmigod, me too!”. Then we talked and talked. Her team is from the western suburbs. Their longest walk has been 15km, and they haven’t been on the track. They will be “glamming it” i.e. staying in Olinda overnight.

Megan, one of the nurses I used to work, has been trying to get fit. She lives in my area and I used to see her a lot walking around Princes Park. I encouraged her to run with me, and she said “No, no I can’t”. Well, today I saw her at the gym, on the tready, running. I tapped her on the shoulder and congratulated her. She beamed, and said “it’s taking a while, I used to smoke”. Good on her! I told her that she would be running around prinny in no time – I even offered to take her for a spin round there. All she needs is a bit of confidence that she can do it.

Intervals:

I did the intervals. I did about 23 minutes of them – 2 minutes at 5.5km/hr and 1 minute at 11.5km/hr. Very doable. The minute running was good. I concentrated on my form, and on staying light on the feet. I could still feel that my arches and shins didn’t like it very much, but every kilo off will help with this. I hope this will increase my fitness.

Diets:

I am doing well. I have been staying within my points budget and not been drinking coke zero or eating crap.

Oh, my!

I will put a sanction on myself next week – no internet after work. I will see how much more I get done – getting into my project or training or getting into a good book or speaking with my hubby. Endless possibilities.

whisky tango foxtrot

This is the name of one of the trailwalker teams……heheheheheh

I have noted a few things today:

1. I am finding coke zero more difficult to drink. Firstly because real coke tastes sooooo good after a hot sweaty TW training. Secondly because I just keep thinking “satan’s urine”. Thankyou ever so, Em!

2. I am not craving junk food as much. In fact I resisted the strawberry cream sponge torte at work on Tues – much better than the cheesecake episode.

3. There is a gap in the waistband of my trousers that is a bit bigger. Around my butt, it fits just as ever. I think the butt region will probably be the most recalcitrant.

4. I am not pulling up too badly. My hip is settling down and the ITB has settled down. I am not as sore as I thought I would be. I got one of the physios at work to do some tests on the hip joint and she thinks it is a torn/damaged labrum rather than the hip flexor itself. She thinks it is encouraging that it has settled down. She thinks that both of them are from the increase in hills and should settle…..but I will see what the sports doc has to say.

Arvo off tomorrow – mebbe some time for interval training. Then on road trip on friday with the honcho to Shepparton. More singing is what is needed. I have bought the Glee soundtrack and this is fabulous to sing to. I don’t think he will enjoy it and I might be embarrassed singing in front of him.

I have shaken the bosses down for TW sponsorship. I am going to echo the rest of the girls when I say…. COUGH UP!!!!

(It is tax deductible as you all know).

I have just loaned my sister $450 for rent…….hope we see it back.

It is my birthday this coming Monday. Monday is a crap day to have a birthday. But Catherine Deveny is doing a show at the Malthouse Theatre with Marieke Hardy and Matt Preston and I have bought myself some tix as a birthday present for…myself.

Kevin on the idiot box.

This is what I am watching now, on GNW. He got a hero reception on this show, akin to if Brad Pitt or similar rocked up.

I have had some lambasting for eating S and V chips instead of a sandwich on the trailwalker. Poll – acceptable or not? I will not be eating them at each stop but was a sweaty day yesterday. Probably lost a lot of salt. And they never fail to make me feel better. 🙂

My ITB pain is still there. Have made an appointment to see a sports doc. Sara’s advice – a hurty massage and ice. Any other suggestions?

I have had a bit of an annoying day at work – I have a consultant, only a couple of years ahead of me, who will spout on and on about how hard she has to work but finds it very difficult to delegate. I offered to see some referrals for her and she insisted on seeing them all over again and taking all of the time. And insisting on contradicting my view but ultimately coming to the same decision. So needless to say I will not be doing the same again. I would rather pissfart about.

Anyway, off to the ‘rat tomorrow. Meh. Then pilates. Yeh.

Addit 2235 – The dog farted. Naughty dog.

My husband is a trailwalker widow.

This weekend, anyway.

So we went for 2 walks this weekend.

1. Night Walkie – Olinda to Mt Evelyn. The Fab four were all present

I wore my big mother hiking boots with the insoles, a bit more comfy, but no significant arch support. They were heavy, but I was lighter! This was a good walk, a. because it was less hot than before and b. because I did better up and down the hills than last time. And also, the phrase what you don’t see you can’t fear comes to mind, because I did better down the hill in the dark because I couldn’t see all the rocks and what have you. I flew down, compared with last time (mind you I was pretty slow, and I mashed my quads in the process). We went from 2000 hrs for about 3 hours or so.

Unfortunately I didn’t sleep too well on the fridee night, probably a mix of over-excitement and the red bull I skolled before the walk

On Satdee, I went out for brunch in Yarraville with a coupla girlfriends (you may remember littlesare and mel the gazelle). Yarraville is quite genteel nowadays.

Last night hubby and I went to Cafe Fidama in Yarraville, I would recommend it highly. Nothing too fancy, just old favourites cooked really well. I shared an entree and the dessert with hubby, plus had a main, and 2 glasses of wine. I actually felt really bloated after this; I think the stomach has shrunk a bit, because I could sink this amount with aplomb before. And even though 2 glasses is well within health guidelines, I think I have lost a little tolerance to it and may stick to one in future. (OMG as I am typing this I realised I am such a NERD!)

Sundee: Up at fart of sparrow (0530 on a Sunday – Jesus would be really pissed off), to meet Shells and Jay in Croydon. We went from Launching place to Wesburn via Tanty Hill, and then back to Launching Place via the Warby trail.

A few observations:

1. On the hilly bits, I would think “oh, this is MUCH easier than last time” and power on up. Then I hit the hard part and nearly died in the arse. Case in point, tanty hill, where I nearly came a cropper (i.e. had a spew) from exertion. Not for nothing is it called Tanty Hill.

2. I was still sore from Friday, esp in the quads, so the downhills were painful. But still, easier than the ones before. Currently, I have stretched, tiger-balmed and foam rolled my quads.

3. I had bought myself some asics trabucos for the walk, at a greatly discounted price of $100. They were great, especially for walking down hills but they lacked arch support

4. My ITB neurosis has become proper ITB syndrome. I even googled it to check that I had the right symptoms. I am icing my lateral knee as I type, have popped some anti-inflammatories and have given my ITB a good flog with the foam roller. I think this has come about from lack of arch support, as I didn’t have the problem until I became complacent about it! From now on I will strictly wear my orthotics (and tape up the blistery areas).

5. My gammy hip flexor is ok at the moment, thankyou very much 🙂

I think I have become fitter judging by these walks, but shells is smashing it out of the ballpark. She walks up the tough hills as another might take a morning stroll.

The plan now:

1. Make appt with sports doctor about ITB and gammy hip. I hear OPSMC comes highly recommended 🙂

2. Work on the quads.

3. Do some proper intervals (medium walk then fast run) to try and get my fitness up (thanks Jay and Shells)

4. Wear my orthotics strictly when exercising (I have boots with good arch support, think I might wear them a couple of days at work). Please feel free to make random checks if you see me out and about in my runners.

5. Attend to good nutrition especially during walks.  Yes perhaps Salt and Vinegar chips during the walk are not the best, but the probably saved me from certain hyponatremia (I was sweating cobs today)! I have tried some PB&J on toast and this might make a yummy and slightly more nutritious fix.

6. Get enough sleep, which means not pissfarting about on facebook till late at night.

Oh, and one more thing, I weighed in after the walk – 75.2 kegs (with good hydration state). This was a loss of 600 grams for the week, very good in view of the diving headfirst into cheesecake episode of last Tuesday.

Better? Maybe, maybe not.

Firstly, thankyouse all for your input. It is all stuff I knew but forgot in the carb-craving, hungry, hormonal haze. I agree with Louise about sugar being more addictive than crack….certainly there is physiological truth in this, as the dopamine release / reward pathway is similar.

Today – cravings not tooooo bad. We had training and a meeting this arvo. Lots of temptations. I gave in to the sultana scone without butter, jam or cream (only 1.5 points). I also skipped the large quantities of cheese and the cakies. I fought the cakies, including the flourless orange cake and the lemon tarts (my favourites). I had the fruit, olives and carrot sticks and hommus.

I felt inexplicably tired this arvo. I had a few theories.

1. Not enough sleep (7.5hours, perhaps I need more??)

2. Not enough coffee??

3. too much coffee +/- diet drinks?? btw em I love the comment about diet coke being satan’s urine!!!

4. My body railing against the diet (could be – bodies can resist moving from set points).

5. A bit of dehydration? I had had about a litre of water that day, but I felt thirsty.

6. The onset of a serious illness – diabetes? other more catastrophic things? (crazy hypochondriasis)

So instead of slurping down more coffee or scoffing more food (both things I have regularly done), I went and stood outside in the sun during the break. It made me feel better for a little while. Probably a bit longer than the effects of coffee and food. Baby steps?

Tonight I made healthy nachos, made with baked corn tortillas. Yummmm! Managed to stick exactly to 24 points today.

Will try and get an early night. Need to look after myself with the big walkies this weekend.

I am struggling a little….

I am drinking coke zero instead of devouring the packet of biscuits that I bought.

Why did I buy them? Because I was hungry when I went to the supermarket to buy dinner. Hungry and had an “I could kill my grandmother for donut” craving for carbs.

But I ate only one biscuit- a snack-right one – with a chocolate coating. Brilliant food for TW training and I will have some of them then.I might also take some to work.

I ate a small dinner, also. I will wait for brekky. Hopefully it will pass tomorrow.

I was finding it easy, and now I am finding it hard. I am having an urge to stuff my face. Rebellion? PMS? Just plain more hungry than usual?

Can anyone offer any advice?

I fought the cheesecake and the cheesecake won.

So I was in Ballarat, where I am now going every week for work, and the computer shat itself. Aunty Flo had just rolled into town. I was craving sweeeeeeties. So I went for a walk in search of some. There was a cheesecake shop, first mistake was entering. I was hungry and the smell in there made me swooooon. I got myself a single portion of Turkish Delight and choc chip cheesecake. It was fucking awesome. Then I calculated the points….9 for a serve (FYI a step class burns 8 points) Eeeek! So I had a really small dinner and did some exercise (running and x-training). My food total was 26 points even with the cheesecake, so I was still in the black after the exercise. Balance. Repentance. Whatever. I need to make it work. Menstrual cravings or no menstrual cravings.

Valentine’s day – hubby took me to Madame Sousou in Fitzroy. Sunday is “day off” the diet day. I had a steak and it really, really hit the spot.

Going off for a 2 walkie weekend this weekend – a Friday Night trample and a Sunday sweat session. Need to get me a walking pole.

I just saw an ad for Classical Cardio – Go for Baroque on channel 2. Interesting. I prefer my pop tarty stuff.

Go me.

I have lost another 0.5kg on weight watchers. I am now 75.8 kg. Which is good. Fantastic, in fact. Especially since I am pre-Aunty-Flo and have gone over on the points a few days and have not done so much exercise. Hubby lost 0.8 kegs which is excellent.

I am feeling quite good – I haven’t starved and I am eating well. I am having my day off when I eat out. I am not sick of it (yet). I will try a bit harder this week and see whether the weight loss is commensurate with the effort. I think I just need to appreciate that some weeks will be more trying than others.

It is liberating to be honest about what I am doing. I was talking to one of my bosses about it. Usually I get “what are you doing that for?” but she was quite calm….she said “do you have a goal in mind” and I told her. I never used to tell anyone my weight but now it is out there in cyberspace.

Anyway.

My faith in humanity was restored after yesterday’s strawberry incident (see below). I went to get a couple of bottles of beer for hubby and brother in law, and after I bought one, I dropped it and it spilled. The nice young man at the counter went and fetched me another one and didn’t charge him for it. I said “You are a nice boy. I hope you get lots of Valentines”. He said “Awww, I don’t think I’ll get any”, to which I replied “Oh, I hope you do.”.

Buoyed by this, after my coffee at Tom Phat this morning, which FYI was really good, I told the barista that it was a lovely cup of coffee. She said “awww, thanks”, to which I replied “no, credit where credit’s due”. Good to make people happy.

I learned yesterday that the dog quite likes to dance. I was grooving to some music while tidying up, and the dog jumped up on me. I held her paws and we grooved together. When I let her go, she jumped up again. What a funny canine!

Off out to dinner with hubby tonight, it’s a surprise.

Oh, and Happy Valentines Day, people. Big hugs and kisses.

A strawberry-themed rant.

Ok so my best blogs are those when I am angry. And I am angry today, dammit.

Had a lovely morning. Sleep in till 8:30, off to a wonderful pilates class afterwards, went walking with Hubby and visiting his colleague who lives around the corner.

We went and had some coffee at Toby’s Estate and I bought some bean grounds, which were freshly roasted on-site yesterday. Cheerfully sold to me. Happy days.

Then, I went to the fruit and vegie shop. I was good and bought lots of vegies as well as some plums to stew, but I wanted some strawberries. I could find none. I asked the lady in front of me, who had multiple punnets of strawberries, where she found them.

She said “Sorry, I took them all”. I looked at her with raised eyebrows. She said, flustered “Sorry, I have a 21st tonight”. “Okayyyy” I said, looking down, smiling. Almost imperceptibly the lady at the till rolled her eyes. So did another customer.

8 Punnets. Eight freakin’ punnets!! Who buys 8 punnets of strawberries, I ask? How many pavlovas does she need to garnish? Besides, they will all piss off to the pub, knowing 21 year olds, leaving the strawberries going to waste.

I hope she suffers bloating, cramping and diarrhoea from the fructose overload.

As she walked out, I said “You enjoy the 21st”, ever so slightly patronisingly. (The lady herself was in her 40s I think).

She did not appreciate the irony in that and said “Thankyou. Sorry to do that to you”.

See, we need shopping democracy. We need to spread the strawberry love. I remember once I was in Witchery, looking for a pair of leggings. They only had 2 pairs left in my size and the lady in front of me was about to buy both. She very graciously gave me one of them to buy. That’s shopping democracy.

Anyway, I got that out of my system. 🙂

I had to drive the boss to Shepparton yesterday. It was a good drive and he is a nice bloke….we chewed the fat about many topics. We had a good yarn. He hinted that he would give me a consultant job next year. (I think ….maybe).

Having the brother in law over to stay tonight……he lives on a rooftop flat in the city, and sometimes people go up onto the roof and they “freak him out”. I could not imagine him being freaked out about anybody – he is 6 foot 4. But he is a great bloke and Hubby likes to see him, so he is staying.

Gotta go now, need lunch.