I learned 2 things today.
1. I tried to drink a macchiato, thinking that the calorie content would be lower given there is less milk. No good. I am, and always will be, a latte girl.
2. I went to the gym, admittedly feeling very tired and hungry, and tried to run on the treadmill. I lasted 2 minutes. I was still fatigued from sunday’s run. The thing I learned: I am over the treadmill. I will quit the gym and just do sporting spirit and pilates; this is quite enough.
Am still having dreams about pavlova and crisp sauvignon blanc.
A YEAR IN REVIEW.
The year started out quite hopefully, with the new job and doing my last ever night duty. I had plans, oh yes, but in retrospect lacked the confidence to carry them out. I thought my mood would get better when finishing the nights, but instead it got worse. At my hubby’s insistence, I went to see my GP to get treatment. Things improved initially and I enjoyed my 29th birthday, but things then went pear shaped in a big way. I tried to do part-time and take up hobbies, but to no avail. I had to swallow my pride and get the specialist help I needed, and also let my bosses know what was going on. Finally, I was asked by my doctor to take some time (about 2 and 1/2 weeks) off. This was during May. This was the time when I took up running, on the treadmill. I also took up oil painting as a creative outlet.
I got back to work, feeling a little bit better and improved in time with the specialty help. One of the bosses was being a monster and I had a stressful time organising a big project. I got through it. In July, I did my first fun run, a 5km run in a time of 35:38. I did another in August, and joined up with the sporting spirit crew. Over the next few months, I did a 10 km fun run (after which I nearly fainted). Now, I do long runs of 10 k (11 km last week!!) every week.
I decided on a career of geriatrics and got a job for next year. This was one thing I had avoided.
I started a blog in late August. It was cathartic.
In September, I was diagnosed with fructose malabsorption and had to make some fairly major (and positive) changes to the diet. I also had a whole other raft of investigations for iron deficiency which yielded nothing else.
In October, I went to Gwinganna to try and “get healthier”, whatever that means. The main thing I took from it was learning how to stretch well. The caffiene abstinence did not last. Quelle surprise!
In November the work wound down and we went off for a wonderful holiday to Vietnam and Cambodia. Cambodia, in particular, got under my skin and I would like to work there some day.
A great Christmas at the mother-in-law’s, our relationship had been strained at times during the year (esp. when I was unwell) but we are getting along well now.
Now, at the end of the year, I review all the things I have learned and gained. I feel that, even though it has been quite a tough year in some ways, I have came out of it better than when I was at the beginning.
Relationship with self (sounds wanky): I am much easier on myself and talk my self out of negative thoughts much more readily. The WUTIWUF paradigm works. I have a much better relationship with myself than I think I ever have.
Relationship with Mr. Sassy: Great, he has been wonderfully supportive throughout the year. We have learned to appreciate each other’s differences and negotiate them effectively.
Relationship with family: In addition to being easier on myself, I am being easier on my family. Yes, they are far from perfect but hell, so am I! I also understand my Mother’s past depressive illnesses now. I have learned to take a step back and not get so angry with them, but appreciate them for who they are. Not that we ever had major falling-outs, just that our relationship could have been better.
Friends: This has been a year of re-uniting with old friends and making new ones. The former: littlesare, Clairebear, lankygaySam (all aliases). The latter, all my buds on the forum and in running group. All the gerries girls.
Thoughts on the bod: I weigh 3-4 kg less than I did at the beginning of the year. Even though this is not much, my body confidence has gotten disproportionately better, probably due to the running. I am still not completely happy with my body, I will admit that.
Health and Fitness: Much improved.
Money: Have spent quite a bit and saved not too much (or at all). Mr. Sassy wants me to relinquish credit card or only keep it in the drawer for emergencies. I have reluctantly agreed.
In many ways, my new year’s resolutions are just to keep going the way I am! I am proud of myself and in spite of the difficulites, in many ways it has been a great year.
A few things need particular work though:
1. The bod: I still want to lose 6-8 kg. I figure if I eat healthily and this entails
- staying the hell out of the lolly jar and biccy tin at work.
- eating a really good breakfast (it really does help me eat less later in the day)
- only drinking good coffee at good cafes. Many kilojoules are wasted on crap coffee. If I am going to splurge on anything (and I will), it will only be the good stuff.
- eat at least four serves of vegies a day (potatoes don’t count)
- drinking water instead of diet drinks, they seem to make me hungrier.
- be prepared.
- follow the 90/10 rule.
I figure with all this, and training for a half marathon (either june/august/october), my weight will take care of itself.
I will do what Hubby says. This will cut out a lot of “I feel stressed so I’m gonna go blow 500 bucks on clothing and shoes” acts. It will also leave more to put in the bank (I had an epiphany the other day – clothing/footwear IS NOT an investment!!) Other than this, we don’t splurge a lot. Meals out can be cut down to once or twice a week.
Not too onerous, I feel. Think I can do that 🙂