Sassy’s Fake Poetry.

An Ode to The FCRAP (or “Bring on the end of July”). Written June 2007, when I was about to do my Physician’s exam and was on the precipice of losing it.

I started enthused, but it’s all wearing thin,

The end of my tether is nigh.

I’m tired and I’m stressed, with my arse on the line,

Just bring on the end of July.

 

Hobbies, what hobbies? It’s work or the books,

All longs and all shorts but no me.

We all do our best but it seems not enough

Our mistakes there for all you to see.

 

I feel guilty sometimes, something must give,

Relationships suffer the strain.

My house is untidy, my hair stays unwashed,

My world giveth way to my brain.

 

And what do I do to deal with all this?

Stuff my face just to smother the stress.

The lard on my butt makes me feel all ungainly

Then I shop for a larger size dress.

 

All this work, all this time, not to mention the money

With no guarantee that we’ll pass.

God damn them, the college, they’re bleeding us dry!

It’s all such a pain in the arse.

 

And jobs for next year, who can deal with all that?

We’ve all got too much on our plate.

Can’t kiss butt and study all at the same time

Just a little more time would be great! 

 

I try to stay calm, no sulking for me,

I try just to laugh or I’ll cry.

Just want it all over, all over, red rover!

JUST BRING ON THE END OF JULY!

 

 

 

AN ODE TO PEAS Written May, 2009

Peas, I love you peas!

Tasty little round spheres of green goodness.

Why, why oh why

are you so misunderstood?

 

 

 

AN ODE TO TOMATO SAUCE Written June, 2009

I’d forgotten how I loved you;

Sweet salty tartness, good with everything.

Then the heartburn comes along;

O, the pleasure and the pain!