2010 – Achievements – looking through rose coloured glass half full.

• Got out of bed every morning (hey, not always easy!)
• Stayed married to hubby (he is lovely, of course, but marriage takes work and it cannot be taken for granted) Most importantly got him to do housey stuff without actually having to beg him, involved me not being so bloody control-freaky.
• Managed to not harm the dog my omission or commission – bodes well for having kids, does it not?
• Got my letters
• Made 2 fantastic overseas trips (in fact, this time last year we were preparing to board a plane to Paris)
• Made actual face to face contact with fellow bloggers!
• Successfully came off Anti-Ds. then successfully went back on them (glass half full etc)
• Kept running, albeit inconsistently. Did some very fun fun runs.
• Walked 60km, 45 of which with blisters (Trailwalker)
• Managed recently to find some shoes with good arch support which don’t cause me blisters.
• uhhhh, don’t think I got a speeding ticket or anything like that. Only one parking ticket. Managing to stay largely on the right side of the law.
• Found a niche, academically, and am now wading towards a PhD……never thought I would do that.
• Walked the circuitous path towards the fact that I can deal with emotional discomfort without having to inhale every food in sight, that it will still be there tomorrow, or next week, that hunger will not kill me and am not in any imminent danger of starvation. Cut down on alcohol consumption.
• On similar note, started to learn to appreciate my physical appearance, rather than being ashamed of it, with the help of such stellar bloggers as Lilli from Frocks and Frou. Generally learned to talk to myself more sensibly.
• Managed not to have a very major or lasting fall-out with the 2 bitchy bosses; there is a veneer of civility between us (quite thin, I suspect, and I am glad that I am not working with them next year because godddamn I think I will slap them).
• What I have not learned: to not procrastinate (so says the big basket of washing that needs folding)

I will never forget a picture that Dear Departed Nanna had – it said “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out”. I liked that.

On a completely different note – I have been invited to my 15 year high school reunion, we did not get our acts together for 5 or 10 years.. The girl organising it was a complete BIATCH to me at school, as were a lot of the kids, the positive side of me says that she will have changed, she has 2 kids. I don’t think my school friends will be keen on going. I dunno. What does the committee think?

Happy and safe new year to you all, take care and God/Allah/Buddha/Jedi Knight bless all of you.

Dr Sassy MBBS(Hons) FRACP

I got my letter in the mail today saying that I have been admitted to the Fellowship of the Royal Australasian College of Physicians. It said “you are now entitled to append to your name the letters FRACP.”

I was happy to get this letter. It means I am officially a medical specialist, consultant geriatrician.

Then I thought: Shit – this is effing scary. And surreal. I am not up to this. I am too young (am not too young). Do I deserve it? I have just passed an exam and did 3 extra years of training. It is more medical (and also legal) responsibility.

Although a boss of mine once said to me: “you learn the most when you are a consultant”. This was a refreshing thing to hear.

I am sure most people get the heebies when they get their letter.

Anyway enough navel gazing.

I went to step class this morning, and drove around on errands after. Time to kick back. I had a fleeting thought of scrubbing the shower or vaccumming. It has passed, thank God. I have instead touched up my nail polish and fake tan. Priorities.

Off to Daylesford tomorrow, for the weekend.

6 km run

That’s just under 2 laps of prinny.

I stopped the watch for a toilet break and drink stops. My tummy is a bit upset, for some reason.

I did it in 42:50 – averaging about 7:08 per km, which is an improvement! It was still tough going, but I will I will I will do the city to bay 10km. It will not be a PB time, but I will enjoy it. In fact I am looking forward to it.

It would appear that prinny slopes up on one side and down on the other – my km times were about 15 secs slower on the upslope. Amazing, I didn’t appreciate that before.

I did a good half-hour tready run the day before – 30 mins, 4.35 km. I started slow at 8.2 km/hr and built it up slowly to 10km towards the end. I like to start out slow and go hard at the end. It takes me a good 10 mins to warm up.

I think my mojo is softly tapping me on the shoulder.

I cannot get the Garmin to talk to the computer to upload my runs, it does not recognise my USB. Buggah. Anyone have any hints? I have a Mac (bought in 2006) operating Firefox internet browser.

Hubby and I went to see “The King’s Speech” today, we got a voucher for directors suite and had lunch on the reclining seats. Great movie – effectively crosses the arthouse/mainstream chasm. Brilliant acting by Geoffrey Rush, Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter.

addit midnight: got the garmin to talk to computer: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/60876351

Thoughts re: Goals

I have been having a think about my goals for 2011 – here is a start-off list. I have already started; it does not go “bang” on January the first.

• Meaningful activities (minds out of gutter) with husband, which don’t involve going to places with lots of shopping or expensive restaurants, at least once every week. I was thinking bike rides, movies, scrabble, walking the dog together, going for a swim. Simple things. We spend too much time on the puter, each of us. To this end, today, hubby and I had a hot choccy and a chat about what we can do in the future.
• To cut back on the shopping. It is soul destroying, in many ways. I have enough stuff. To this end: I have not gone too berserk in the sales. Instead, I spent my time wandering about, thinking about how I can stylishly re-work the extensive wardrobe I already have.
• Doing artwork regularly, at least once a week. I am good at art, and I don’t do it enough to get better at it. Making an effort to get to classes, or at least just doodling; I have “how to” books. To this end, during my week off, I will get to it.
• To learn to enjoy the way I look, and make the most of it. I have spent too long being torpid about the way I look. To this end, I have been making an effort to dress in a stylish manner, despite feeling fairly crappy. I have been wearing my red lippy on a semi-regular basis – looks hot for minimal effort. I need to actually use the make-up I have – it makes a great difference to the way I look. I watch lots of women – very few of them have perfect bodies. And attractiveness is not inversely proportional to body mass – truth be told, women can look great at multiple sizes.
• To continue the good work on my relationship with food. To this end: I have a house full of treaties there for the taking, and I don’t feel twitchy, wanting to eat it. While I was wandering about Doncaster Shoppingtown, I wanted to get something to eat, just after having a good lunch. I said to myself: “I am anxious and overwhelmed, not hungry”. I have decreased the snacking, because I am not in any imminent danger of starvation. Also, I have learned that I am shit scared of being hungry, and am working on this.
• To learn to talk nicely to myself (see above for examples) and not feel so guilty all the time. That is a bit of a struggle and part and parcel of the way I am feeling. To learn to nurture myself – listening to upbeat  music, taking a bath or shower with nice smelling body wash, playing with the dog – not wasted time, important time.
• To exercise most days, as reward, not punishment. I am a bit of an “all or nothing” person; if I am a bit tired, or have pigged out, I say “stuff it, not worth it” and flop on the couch. To this end, I have been exercising to feel good, doing yoga classes, and re-discovered my inner water-baby a few months back. I do not have to flog myself to get the benefit. I have to be consistent to get the benefit. Who knows, I may even get the elusive 10km in 60 minutes this year, but if I don’t, it is ok.
• To find the balance between making goals and putting pressure on myself. All of these things are positive things, and hopefully will be self- perpetuating. There is no goal weight. No arbitrary amounts or numbers. To go easy on myself, and be happy about what I achieve.
• I have learned a good one from Shauna – to not procrastinate about any task that takes less than a minute to do. My house is already tidier for it.

Brooks Trance 9

Hubby and I braved Doncaster Shoppingtown for the boxing day sales (ever wonder why it is called boxing day? You find out when you hit the sales).

I managed to behave and not growl at or hip and shoulder anybody.

The clothes, shoes and apparel don’t interest me particularly – I have all that I want, and I don’t particularly like this season’s stuff anyway.

What I did need, however, is some new running shoes. My adidas ones have died, and my Brooks adrenalines are about 18 months old. Hence I went to the Athlete’s foot and had a gander.

I tried on a few Brooks shoes – the Adrenaline 11 and the Trance 9 and 10. The Trance 9s were on special, the same price as the new Adrenalines. They actually felt the best on, too – really cradled my hindfoot. So I coughed up. Once I find my holy grail shoe, I will buy over the internet.

I went for a run / fiddle with Garmin today – all up I did about 4.5km. At the moment, my fast pace is 6:50 and my slow pace is 7:20. I will need to work up the distance for City 2 Bay. I may not take my garmin on that race, as I may be tempted to go out too fast. We shall see.

I am very upset to find out that my favourite little Indian restaurant, Bismi, has closed down. Dang. Was looking forward to it. Had it in my head.

Merry Christmas

And even if it makes you grumpy, sad, stressed, irate, broke- as it can tend to do, if we are being honest about it, it is only a day, one day of four off. So relax and enjoy the other three days.

And remember all food and drink consumed on Christmas day has NO calories. None. Not the roast, the croissants with Nutella, the Pinot or the Pav. I am a doctor and this is a scientifically proven fact.

I have been advised by my doc to take weds, thurs and fri of next week off. Actually he gave me some time off last I saw him, but I didn’t. He advised me more strongly this time. So I get some time off, to turn a corner, right myself, right my sleep (which had been poor). A week off. Time to get a bit better (am feeling a bit better now). Time to face up to what is wrong, rather than denying it – this is the hard part.

I found out yesterday that I did not get one of the PhD scholarships I applied for, however I have been put on the waiting list for the other one, which I suppose is good. I don’t think everyone goes on the wait list. Fingers crossed.

Santa (Hubby; I stopped believing in Santa last year when I was 10), has bought me a Garmin 110. So many runs this year, perhaps with uploads. I am considering a 2011 goal to run 10 or 15 km every week. Sort of dwarfy in comparison to Em’s 90 km but it is a start.

On this note, I think I might go out for a toddle now, before the family comes over.

Merry Christmas, from Sassy, Mr. Sassy and Candydog.

 

 

 

Hello (I think)

I have been a bit quiet – nothing to blog that feel particularly comfortable sharing. Instead, in contrast to last time, I have been talking about things with my husband – as it should be.

I went for another run today after work, a little further than last time. Training for city to bay. Anyone else doing this race? I found the run quite meditative. Just counting 1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2…, no ipod. The dog quite enjoyed it too. I am running through local streets, seeing parts of my neighbourhood that I have never seen before. Very diverting. The weather was good for it this evening as well, nice and cool with not too much wind.

I nearly always feel better after a run. I go out with the attitude that I can walk if I need, I don’t need to cane it, and I am happy with what I do.

On the job for next year front, it would appear that I may have to choose between two  – I am in a tug of love, as it were. One fits better with the PhD hours, one is work that I actually would prefer to do. Hard.

My meeting with my PhD supervisor went well – he was really excited by my research proposal – I am happy that he was happy (especially since I was worried that he would say “what is this pile of crap, stop wasting my time”.) I have not yet heard about my scholarship, I do hope I get one; it will help.

I had a reasonable day yesterday – I could listen to christmas music being played without wanting to run a mile. Progress.

I RAN!

’nuff said.

Mammoth effort.

Things I have done today:

Got out of bed and went to work.

Driven to appointment in Richmond without losing cool or honking horn.

Tried to make it to yoga class, but traffic too great, and calmly drove back home.

Sat.

Made dinner.

Made bircher muesli for tomorrow’s breakfast.

It is not great or unusual stuff, but I am doing stuff, and this is what counts.

Some exciting news…

One of my best friends, Amy, is pregnant. She broke it to us today, at lunch with myself, littlesare and Mel the Gazelle. I am really excited for her and her husband.

Amy and I have done lots of things together. Our internship, our specialty exam and our advanced training (different specialties). We are both doing a PhD next year. We got married on about the same day, a year apart. We don’t see each other enough but will yabber on for hours on the phone, one of the few people who I can do that with.

I did not know they were planning and was slightly taken aback, albeit thrilled by the news.

Earlier this year, I was really clucky and wanted to get the engines running, so to speak. Recently, perhaps in keeping with my mood, I have gone off the idea (and at times it frankly frightens and repels me). I have also had awful, awful heartburn, despite medication, so I need to get that sorted too. So not a really good time for baby making.

Hubby would love a bubba; we would have one by now were it up to him. We had a little “state of the union” chat today, talking about timings and such.

I felt for my friend Mel the Gazelle – her and her hubby have been trying for a while now, and she is currently on fertility treatment. Though she can tend towards anxiety and being down, she seemed really bright today, and seemed happy for Amy’s news (though it must have been hard to hear).

It is all quite a cut-throat business, the baby stuff. From conception to finding a good (private) obstetrician and fitting it in around training and such, it is quite a high pressure game for us lady doctor girls. We put it off for maybe a bit too long and then need to rush on in with the clock ticking loudly. Same for lots of women, really.

Anywho, enough baby stuff.

I went to RPM class this morning – was feeling a bit tired and yucky, so I thought I would take it easy if I needed. The instructor, a fit chap probably in his 50s (much like Andrew), has a booming voice and is a bit mad (not like Andrew). He really gets the group going, and I sweated buckets. He came around to make sure we were doing 135 rpm during the sprint track, bless him.

Tonight – probably pizza for dinner. Tomorrow – we are going to a wedding at the zoo. Should be fun. Have not picked out an outfit yet.