Well, I am best (funniest actually) when am snarky, but really, this weekend, have had nothing to be snarky about. I have had a really good weekend.
Yesterday, went to pilates. Tidied. Went out for steak, because I felt like a bloody good steak. I listened to the quiet whisper of my body above the roar of the environment (and the large Italian family seated near us), and finished when I was full – I left some chips. Chips are my favourite food. I would have fish and chips for a death row meal, should I ever be unfortunate enough to be on death row. I even skipped dessert (Eton Mess), because I was full, and there will be other opportunities for Eton Mess.
This morning, went out to dinner with the hubby, Mother and Brother in Law, and his Girlfriend. Grigons and Orr in North Melb. Had the Blueberry Ricotta Pancakes, which contained neither ricotta nor blueberries, thus I would not recommend this cafe ( though the coffee was good).
The girlfriend of my brother in law (let’s call her gfbil for brevity) had just come off a night shift. She is a paediatric oncology nurse, he is a bone marrow transplant nurse. She looked surprisingly peppy for somebody who had just done four nights in a row.
We went out for a wander in the shops. While in one of the shops, she turned to me and blurted “I have gained 14 kg since I have met my boyfriend”.
We went to a cafe to have a chat.
She told me further “none of my clothes fit, I feel uncomfortable”, and then told me what underlied the weight gain. New (extremely stressful) job and subsequent need to comfort eat, moving out of home, no time for breaks, unhealthy food at close hand, getting comfy with a fella. Certain “rules” – no meal is complete without pasta/bread/potatoes, need to celebrate hard times with food etc. She told me about the death of a patient, which still plays on her mind, and how she sees the patients more frequently than she sees her own family.
I could relate to all of this. I gained weight when I left home – it was easy to eat a block of chocolate away from the censure of your family, and also I felt quite lonely, in retrospect. I know all all about comfort eating.
Nurses (and to a lesser degree, other health care workers) routinely put the needs of other people ahead of their own, and their health suffers for it. It is sad to see.
She talked about weight watchers.
Without trying to preach, I told her about some of my recent penny drop moments. I also discouraged the weight watchers, telling her it just fucked with my head.
I also told her “darling, you need to look after yourself, because if you don’t, nobody else will”. Sounds corny, but very true.
I also told her something else I realised. Often when we go to the fridge for reasons other than hunger, we berate ourselves, saying “I don’t need that”. We never ask ourselves “well then, what DO I need?” I have just learned that self-nurture is not self-indulgence.
I hope she got something from that. I think she did.
Now, back to me…
That gave me a bit of a pep – I had planned to work on PhD stuff this weekend, but then I thought, no, weekends are for R and R. So I have not worked on the PhD. Do I feel R and R’d? Yes. Do I feel guilty? Only slightly.
Hubby and I went for an amazing Thai massage – this lady got into my multiple tight ouchy spots effectively, without causing agony.
Then we went to Highpoint – got a parking spot without playing car-mageddon. Had a little cry (ha) about Borders going into admin, then left hubby with the books and DVDs.
I had a fresh fruit and vegie juice and a rather large chicken skewer for lunch – lovely, yummy, clean and higher protein, and then darted around Highpoint.
I bought myself these shoes, at 20% discount. They are the “lovely” heels. They are sooo hot, and I can actually walk in them – with a little extra wiggle in my walk!
I also bought some whey protein isolate and some little jackets for work – I need to look a bit more consultoid. I need to put the Prada specs on. I look too young, otherwise, and nobody BLOODY LISTENS TO ME.
Probably nobody will listen to me after, but I will at least FEEL smart and scholarly and sufficiently professional.
Went and saw my sister, as I was in her ‘hood – hadn’t seen her in ages. Any regular readers will know of my awkward relationship with my sister. It was nice to see her. We had a good chat, and I got to meet her new dog.
I think I just need to accept her on her terms, for herself; this will help us get along. She acts all tough and pushes people away, but I think in many ways she is vulnerable.
Just saw poor old Damien get kicked off the Biggest Loser…..that would’ve been a hard decision for the voters, but they quite rightly called the bluff of the Red team.
Just sitting with my hubby watching SBS documentaries, with the dog sitting here shedding hair.
Happy week, folks, wish me luck for my gastroscopy tomorrow.