I have been blogging somewhat sporadically of late. It’s been a big week or two.
I had not been running much, because of my back injury. I missed it; it was like a friend was lost. It has been such a big part of my life recently that I felt a bit lost without it.
I have taken steroids, and NSAIDs. Slowly but surely, my back/sciatic nerve pain has been getting better. On Saturday, and then again today. It feels so good to be able to run. On Saturday, I did about 4km with some hill repeats at the end (the repeats were haaarrrrd). Today, I ran with Alex. I worried that he would find me too slow, however we ran at my pace, and chatted the whole time, and we were both about as puffed as each other. Definitely something to do again!
I have been thinking about how I need to take my fitness and diet from here. I feel I have gotten a little poochy around the belly, and would like to maintain my fitness. Rather than losing weight, or a number on the scales, I have had to have a think about what I would like to achieve. These are:
- de-pooch the belly, de-muffin-top the jeans
- keep the running fitness up – a fast 10km might not be feasible in this recovery period, as speed training tends to stir up the injury a bit more than other things.
- I would like to improve my upper body strength, such that….wait for it….I can do a handstand. I have googled “how to do a handstand” and it looks hard.
I had thought about doing crossfit, as it looks pretty effective. However, it is super-expensive, and, if I am consistent, I can keep a serviceable level of fitness. I would like to be able to get back to run training, but the speedwork might kill me a bit.
I would like to try and move my diet toward a more paleo diet – I am sure it will benefit me. Keep the carbs away from the evenings. Keep the alcohol away from the weekdays. Learning to say no. I am getting better at these things. I have been better with shopping and cooking and being prepared.
But enough about the diet. My life is a lot richer than diet and weight and what I eat now. I keep finding myself in mischief, some of it drunken.
Yes, I have been going out and getting on the sauce, occasionally. No falling over, no undie-flashing or spewing or waking up in unfamiliar locations. No. I am class-y.
But alcohol can have the following effects on me: makes me emotional, frisky, or even less censored about what I say than I already am….hence, if I am going to enjoy more than a glass or two of wine, I need to make sure it is in the company of friends, rather than on dates.
I cannot be trusted on dates with a skinful…….. I have some funny/mortifying stories. I am not going to share them here.
I think I am suffering a bit of dating fatigue. It is interesting to watch my own behaviour, as if an outsider. It is scary how quickly we all pigeon-hole people. It is interesting what we find attractive. But it is fucking exhausting making small talk with people who you probably know you will never, ever happen with. Still – sorting the wheat from the chaff is a prolonged process.
By the by, the phrase “colonic irrigation” ought never be uttered on the first date…..or perhaps ever in the context of a relationship. This I can say from experience. NO I wasn’t the one who said it.
Slowly, but surely, I am learning to keep the whole thing in perspective, and personalise things less. I actually postponed a scheduled date tonight to give myself a bit of space. I sit here on my own watching the telly and typing this blog. A few months ago I would not have felt comfortable doing that. Progress.
The most important people are my friends. I would like to say my family, gosh, I love them and everything but my time with them needs to be rationed. For instance, my mum wanted me to come and see her at highpoint today, rather than come over to my place as planned. I politely declined, as I would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork. And I only felt a little guilty about it. My effort level with them is now decreasing, such that now it is closer to what they put in with me.
Ugh. Just got a call from my ex. Mechanical, brief talk about the intricacies of getting de-hitched……I wonder whether we will ever speak to each other again…probably, but only with regards to me having access to the dog. It’s all a bit surreal, all a bit “nice knowing ya (for 14 years)…..’bye now…”
There were lots of nice things from the weekend – a lovely day with a friend, checking out De Clieu for brunch, and taking in the Mesopotamia exhibition. Seeing another friend for dinner at chowhound, with drinks after. Sitting in a bar with some live music and having a good ol’ sing along. Tuning into the present. Getting things done. Learning to relax.
Well, a foreshortened week begins – who knows what adventures it may bring.