Monthly Archives: December 2011

Marathon Training Week 3 Sessions 1 (Aborted Long Run) and 2 (Sing While You’re Winning)

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Boxing day.

I thought it would be a good idea to do a long run.

First wrong thing: bad feelings about it (can’t do it etc), Second wrong thing: weather shite, Third Wrong thing: abdomen cramping with food digested from day before.

So it was aborted at 3 km.

Today, today – I thought it would be a good day to go, given that the weather is reasonably mild. I had an 18km on the program.

Princes Park is the home turf – I no longer get (too) bored doing repeated laps there. There are drinking taps, parking spaces, toilets and friendly dogs to pat.

My calves were a bit tight (higher heels, shopping expedition, when will I learn?) but I soon loosened them up.

The pace was slow. Slow enough to sing. I knew it was a long slog, so the singing kept me company (!)

Got through relatively unscathed – ITB was feeling a teeny bit tight, but it was ok. I didI had a quick stretch and had some lunch. Was starving.

Here is an oldie but a goldie. I sang the catchphrase loud: “It AIN’T TOO MUCH FOR ME”. Amen.

New aim – speed. While long run training is out, I might do a few speed sessions. The long runs are going well. I am as slow as a trickle!

Christmas – done and dusted.

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I did some time with the Fam. Uncomfortable but pleasant enough.

Then I went to the family (the ex-inlaws, or outlaws) of my ex-boss, who I remain friends with. She is like a cool auntie. She was married many years ago to the father of her children, they divorced about 15 years ago. She remains close (in fact, much closer than her husband) to her husband’s family. They spend Xmas together every year. Her new partner of 10 years also attends.

I felt a bit uncomfortable at the start, but they made me feel welcome. Mostly because there were quite a few ring-ins/ refugees there. Everybody was on their best behaviour.

The food was amazing. Some really flash wine (’89 Bordeaux, anyone?). The best ham I have ever had. Chocolates. Sublime cheese.

I filled myself to approximately 7/4 full. It was very convivial. They had a deaf red heeler, lovely dog, but liked to go out and bark at the rain, then come inside and shake all over everybody. She enjoyed a belly rub. Somebody also brought a breathalyser there – this caused hours of amusement. After quite a few vinos, I was still registering well under the legal driving limit!

On the way there, I had to go past/near the Jewish Barrister’s home. That was bad. I had not thought about him in a while. I really liked him; the pain of walking away was disproportionate to the time we actually spent together. In a massive show of strength (? sensibility) I did not drive past his house (or pay a visit).

The ex had also said he would get me a present – he did (bless him) but left it at the front door last night. When I was home. Did not knock and say hello.

I have just gotten home.

I could use a hug. Just could. I don’t want a lot. Just a hug.

It was ok, though, better than I thought it would be. The thing this year was that I did not have to worry about other people’s enjoyment/happiness, just my own. No seething mass of mother-in-law discomfort/disapproval to deal with.

Merry Christmas! Plus Marathon Training Week 2 Supplement 1 Cross Training (Burning up the dance floor)

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Merry Christmas, y’all!

I wish you love, food, cuddles, calorie-consequence free environments, nice pressies.

But above all else, I wish you happiness. And rest, if that is what you need.

My awesome lead up to Christmas has pretty much dissolved any of the “Bah Humbug” feelings that I have toward Christmas. There is a little sadness, yes, thinking of my ex husband and his family and missing them a little, but that is quite normal, I have allowed for that.

So, you ask, what was the leadup?

Friday night, I went out with a new friend. We hit the Abbotsford Convent Markets for a Taco and Beer. Normally, I don’t drink beer, but the weather is perfect beer weather.

This friend is a good salsa dancer. He explains that it is his “Martial Art”. It is better for picking up chicks, probably. We went to an event at the Hilton.

So. Much. Fun. I know the Salsa basics, but he whipped me around the dance floor in some more complicated moves. My cheeks (on my face) were getting a workout from smiling.

In between sets, I let my friend go off and dance with some other lovely ladies (who he did not have to teach) and watched some of the others dance. Lots of well dressed, attractive ladies (plus one who was probably a tranny). The men, on average, were less attractive, but they could bust some serious moves. It looked fun, and very sexy. The music is joyous.

Yesterday, I went out for lunch with a friend in the city. We sat in a restaurant by the Yarra, eating food and drinking wine. Then we slinked off to Crown for a look at the shops, then had a beer (again beer weather) at the Belgian Beer Cafe. Sedated by the food, booze and heat, I slunk home. I thought about going out, but thought it may be better to chill on the couch – and I did. I watched SATC, ate chips, cheese and shortbread, and drank wine.

Today, off to see my family, then some friends.

More anon.

Long run tomorrow. The weather will be better for it.

Marathon Training Week 2 Sessions 2 (Calf-Arsed) and 3 (Swap it, don’t stop it)

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Tuesday – rest day. No worries.

Wednesday. Calves. Felt. Like. Lead.

It felt like I was running with great big weights attached to my shoes.

Plus, I had a stitch.

It was not pretty. I still turned up, did most of the stuff. Cooldown was a walk, not a jog.

It is times like this that I think “what the fecking hell am I doing with this marathon business?”

Today, a medium-long run was on the cards.

However, I was sore as hell. Back, legs, all of it. So I went to the pool, did some pool walking and swimming. Got in the spa. Legs were a bit sore at first but now I feel quite good, if not a bit tired.

Note to self, though – need new bathers. The ones I have are threadbare. Not a good look, really.

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Thankyou to all of youse for the support on my last post. I had felt bad that I wanted to chuck a wobbly (even an imagined one) and it is good to get some re-inforcement that I am, indeed, quite normal.

BTW the ex’s girlfriend lives 100km away and I doubt that she found out about our outing. But it was platonic – it was. It seemed like the right thing to do when I planned it.

And Alison, I will need to take you up on your offer to head to Gippy! ūüôā

oooh, and today, I saw the lovely Lilli from frocksandfroufrou! my fashion heroine! Totally uncool, but I chased her down the street to say hello. I am such a dag sometimes!

Chucking a wobbly

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Or sucking my thumb or sulking in bed.

I have a good life and much to be grateful for. In order to make  myself feel better (or appease my own feeling inadequate) I have been doing lots of nice things for others.

Today, I just felt a bit over it all.

I feel like a big bag of need/want at the moment. To be taken out somewhere, spoiled, surprised, appreciated, hugged. Called just for the hell of it. Hell- shooting big-taken away for a weekend.

 

I took the ex out for a birthday dinner tonight. Never occurred to me not to do something.Even ¬†though we are not really speaking ¬†that much. We are civil but that’s it. I wanted to gesture goodwill, find peace and all that stuff.

Tonight after a long day, I thought “why the fecking hell am I doing this?” I wanted to pike.

I went. We had about as much to talk about as we did previously. Not that much. It got through pleasantly enough.

Then he mentioned that he and his girlfriend were going away for NYE.

I smiled and said “oh, that’ll be lovely”.

Meanwhile, I was imagining going on a rampage through the restaurant, smashing the wine bottles and upending tables.

Screaming “but I want to be taken away tooooooo!!!” not by him, somebody else.

Very adult, huh?

Fuck going out of my way for others. I can’t even get my own food shopping/ cleaning done.

I need to look after me. Not just in a pamper-y way, to get my own shit in order.

Otherwise I really will be chucking tantrums.

Marathon training – Week 2 Session 1 – hills.

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Always fun to follow a hard long run with a solid training session.

It was hills, interspersed with strength training.

My legs felt tight to start with, and they were a little better at the end.

I learned that, while I am not fast, I can yap while jogging uphill! (perhaps I need to run faster).

I also learned that I have to be careful about the food I choose  РThe thai beef salad I had at lunch repeated on me quite a bit.

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Other things:

Thankyou to everyone for their comments.

I am planning on spending the morning with my mum and sis, and the afternoon with a work colleague. The latter are cooking a turkey and I don’t have to do a damn thing.

It will necessarily be hard – it is the first christmas in a long time without the hubby. Granted, the last couple of christmases were hard, but this year, I can actually be open about the fact that it might be a bit miserable. I need to embrace my “bah humbug”. Sometimes things just suck, but they pass.

I know that this period will be difficult. I thought about what was really bothering me was the worry that things would not improve.

I have been fearing the future. And I thought “Why?” “What am I scared of missing out on?” There is very little that is definite in this life, apart from the moment we are in. I have created enough amusement for myself recently, and I am free enough to do just that.

I have also been considering Christmas wishes. I actually don’t want anything much material this year. What I really want is just this.

I want to receive a nice surprise. Or multiple small ones. Of the material or circumstantial variety. A surprise that does not end in consternation or heartbreak would be good.

What it really means is that somebody (or, indeed, the universe) has given due consideration to what I would like, and gone ahead with it. I promise, promise, I will appreciate.

Meanwhile, I will try and provide others with nice little surprises, without necessarily getting anything in return. I have done these things.

 

Marathon Training – Week 1 session 4 – Long run. Plus other things.

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I was all excited yesterday morning, hence I woke up at 0515 hours! I drifted off back to sleep before my alarm went off at 0630. Goodbye, leisurely Sunday mornings, for the time being, anyway.

I rocked up on time, resplendent in my new compression shorts, cap and fuel belt, to the Eaglemont tennis courts. No loo – had to find a place to squat :/

My inner bully said “you are too fat and slow to be here”.

I said “no I’m not”. “Fuck you, inner bully.”

The inner bully showed her head a little bit during the run, but mostly kept away.

It was long – over 16km. It was hilly. At the beginning and end, when stationary, I got attacked by mutant mosquitoes, who paid no mind to the applied aerogard. Between the bruises on my legs from a massage, and the mozzie bites, I look like I have been engaged in trench warfare.

My pace over the 16 and a bit km was 7:30 on average, and kept fairly solid. Not bad, considering it was hilly. I got tired at the 14km mark – the inclines and weather probably took it out of me. There were a few walk breaks on the inclines in the last 2 kms. It went quick and I managed the solitude well.

I did good. I have far to go, but pat on the back where it is due.

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Here is the honest truth. I am dreading Christmas. I don’t even wanna go there. I want to call in sick. Cancel it. I have bought presents for people etc but other than that I don’t want any part of it.

I am managing things swimmingly well at the moment but OMG it all goes to shit when I think of Christmas. It amplifies everything.

That’s all I am gonna say about that. So much on my mind, none of it can be said here.