I have been a member of the Gym at Brunswick on and off for about 5 years.
I have been to the indoor pool there more in the last few weeks than I have in the previous four and a bit years. I got the pool bug in Noosa on the conference. Why the indoor pool? Because a. it is warm and I am a wuss in the cold, and b. It warms my heart to see the oldies doing exercise.
Now, the reasons I have for taking up swimming are thus:
- It is warm in there. Wonderfully warm, when it is horribly cold outside.
- It doesn’t feel like exercise.
- I get some good thinking done.
- The sound of water gurgling in my ear-holes is relaxing.
- I like backstroke; I like any exercise that you can do lying on your back (minds out of the gutter people)
- Any little aches, pains or niggles dissolve into the water, so that it is not so much exercise as analgesia.
- I don’t even mind “nuding up” in the change room. I don’t especially like it (am not an exhibitionist before too many glasses of wine), but I don’t go to great lengths to cover my rude bits because nobody else does! Most people even give you a coquettish smile when they are nuded up.
- The best bit is the SPA afterwards. SPAAAAAAAHHHH.
What I don’t like about it:
- Finding stray bandaids in the pool. Gross.
- I get all paranoid that my shoes will be stolen, yet never seem to put them in the locker. Everyone else leaves their shoes out.
- The smell of chlorine (though vaguely addictive)
- Stepping into warm water makes me wanna go piddle (which I always go to the TOILET to do, thankyou very much).
My rant for the day is about Miss Universe Australia. What is wrong with her, you ask?
- Her name is Jesinta. Jesinta!! Her bogan parents can’t spell Jacinta. Bogan parents usually own bogan children. I know the bogan is lurking in there somewhere, doesn’t matter how well you tan it and clothe it in a designer frock. Hell, if she were wearing fake Burberry and moccies she would be a damn sight more likeable.
- She looks exactly like every other freaking Miss Universe Australia: that is, anglo-saxon, tanned, Long blonde hair(shade differing from caramel to barbie), white toothed, thin. Why can’t we have a Nigella Lawson type to buck the trend? Jana Wendt? Lee-Lin Chin? (now THERE’s a stunner).
- She is 18 and super-confident. This equates to cocky and precocious in my book. What do you know at 18? Unless, that is, you spent your childhood in War-Torn Sudan and spent 9 months in a leaky boat to get over here. Give me one of those girls. She might actually have something good to say about “world peace” and “women’s rights”. What has Miss-poorly-spelled-Jacinta done for society? Sweet bloody diddly.
- And being 18, I would feel very funny about any bloke I know ogling her. That is barely legal.