Andrew and Kath have been posting “things you may not know about me”.
I thought I might go down that line too, but there was nothing I could think of. At least, nothing I wish to share.
I have been sharing little snippets about what I have been going through, both in my external and internal world. I am trying to make the navel gazing as productive as I can, and learn a little about myself in the process. Mainly to stop myself from (again) falling into a deep psychological hole from which it will be difficult to return.
I said on a previous blog post about how I might not be slaying the demons, but am trying to give them a big wedgie and chinese burn. This went down with Shauna well.
The demons are actually just little parts of my personality that come out under stress and taunt me. It is important I get to know those little parts of my personality, and it will help if I assign them personalities. On that note, please meet the following major players. Allow me to introduce myselves.
Don’t Fuck It Up Lady.
She looks like a lady who skins puppies and wears them.
She was the lady who pushed me to be the very best I could, and got me to where I am now, but she has aged into a bit of a wicked old harridan. A shrew. One who comes out of her front door and shrieks obscenities at passers by. You know the one.
Recently, under a bit of pressure, she has come out loud and proud, yelling “DON’T FUCK IT UP! DOOOOOOOOON’T FUCK IT UP!!!” She makes me frightened of my future and stops me enjoying the present.
She has made my palms sweaty, my stomach toss, my heart pound, my hands shake. Her taunts have been so loud at times that they have drowned out the softer, kinder selves that are a bit younger and less experienced.
I need to find ways to shut her up.
Princess Leia Lady
Ahh, Princess Leia. She is unconventionally beautiful, the wet dream of geeks everywhere. She saves the world, and rocks a machine gun with panache. The slightly damaged heroine. Me, clearly.
Only I save the world without machine guns, one old, incontinent person at a time. I do not have access to firearms.
She is quite useful, but I have to get out of my mind that I need to be a hero, all the time. Once a week, tops, only.
The one who likes the more frivolous things in life, who has far too many shoes and clothes. Who comes out with some really cool phrases like “I totally paused!!!”
I need to get in touch more with my inner Cher a bit. She does not seem to get too stressed. She is fairly carefree. As in, looking like she came out of a shampoo or tampon commercial.
Ms. Dalai Lama
I am not saying I am holy or anything like that. However, I have aimed to get a bit more “Zen”. More mindful. Able to ride out the bad times, come up, and be content in little things. Being present in the moment. I had no idea about this before, but I had been getting some idea about it. I need to practice this.
That’s it at the moment. I am sure I will come up with more.
Does anyone have any characters they assign themselves?