No-go Zone


Andrew hit it right on the head.

I was looking through my past blog posts. Mainly consumed with the following:

  • what I had eaten
  • how guilty I felt about it
  • that I was never, ever going to do it again
  • then, about how I did it all again
  • the exercise – not always done with enjoyment, but with the idea of flogging all of the excess calories out of myself
  • the shit I bought

I am not relying on any of these things at the moment, and it is empowering.

Some of the stuff more recently was a bit more authentic  – the depression stuff etc.

What I write now is written with difficulty, with thought. It is a tiny fraction of what is actually going through my head, and the much less dark and frightening parts.

I write the more affirming thoughts.

It might be dark and uncomfortable, but it is authentic and therapeutic, just to get a tiny bit out there into the ether. I am very lucky to have friends that I can share some of the darker stuff with, so I don’t feel so alone.

Some of my running/internet buddies have reached through the ether into the mobile phone/email space, which is great. They know who they are 🙂

My family have come around slightly, but I cannot rely on them. While this is not preferable, it is ok. I can rely on myself.

P.S. I have kept up my running, and will be doing the run melbourne 10km. I hope to see some of you there!

2 responses »

  1. I’m so glad to hear your family is coming around slowly. I hope you can garner more of their support.

    I’m volunteering at Run Melbourne, let me know your race number and I’ll keep and eye out for you amongst the thousands!

    I’m thinking about testing my legs out today, so hopefully a run is on the cards for us soon.

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