This is what I want. Right now.
I sit here, after Easter pleasantries with my four favourite people (hubby, mother in law, mum and dog). We had tacos, wine and chocolate eggs. The second night of profligacy in a row.
My oesophagus is burning from the wine. I feel seedy. My sinuses are throbbing. I feel sick from the chocolate. I have been a bit bunged up (ok TMI). Blerk. Enough.
I know I am healthy, I feel good most of the time. I have beaten depression and stared down the eye of a binge eating disorder. I have muscles where I have not before (and I may often be found stroking my guns or showing them off to unsuspecting people). I have harnessed the power of protein for keeping my hunger at bay, and freed myself of the need to eat potatoes EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I eat vegetables with every meal (spinach in the smoothie in the morning).
Indeed I have come far, and credit where credit is due etc.
I want to be MORE healthy. Full of energy, skin glowing, free of sinusitis, free from the crunch in my right knee every time I bend it. I want to feel clean and energised after meals, not yuck. I hate having to take acid pills for my stomach – I am on enough pills.
- keep alcohol to a minimum – 1-2 glasses once or twice a week, and not the night before training. I need to let go of the feeling that a meal is not a meal without alcohol.
- lay off the dairy – keep to the soy milk in the coffee
- keep to 1 coffee per day: it picks me up and then makes me tired
- Drink lots of herbal tea – it tastes good and clears everything out.
- keep up with the fish oil and glucosamine
- Eat a carrot with lunch or for morning tea (keep the bowels happy)
- Head off to see a naturopath. YES a naturopath. Works in the paradigm of maintaining/optimising health rather than in my paradigm (disease).
- Get to bed before 10:30 each night.
It is not about restriction or purging, about NOT doing things, but about positive actions and nurturing. This is the big difference.
I want to glow, bubble, effervesce. GLOW, dammit.
Anyone have anything to add?