First Day of School/Work.

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Major, major meltdown yesterday. Super anxious, super blubby. I fell asleep for 3 hours after my run and it did not have the usual happy making effect. I was having a low serotonin day.

I woke up ok today. Hubby saw me off in the car on the way to work.

Went to work – no probs.

Went to the Repat – was ok. Got a desk, got a shared office, with a window, got entry access to the research centre. Got told that I had to present my grant to the uni next week. Got to meet people. Got my toe run over by somebody in an office chair (owww).  Got told I had to go to an induction when I had to be at work. I was a bit bewildered and got a bit of the “I can’t do it’s”. Especially when grilled by the Lab Manager about my study, I felt intimidated. Bewildered.

Then I had some lunch and some thoughts.

“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere”, “I think I can do this, do it my way”.

“I have to look after myself, get lots of sleep, make an appointment with the talky-lady, and I need to be disciplined about looking after myself. I need to be assertive about what I can and can’t do – I am juggling a few things”. On that note, will try to get to Yoga.

I worked on my grant and nearly got it finished, stayed till 6pm because I was on a roll. Met a medical student who does a 33 minute 10km (I quizzed him about his running because he just came from a run).

I am feeling a bit better now. The anticipation is usually worse than the actuality, and today was no exception. I am quite buggered tonight though.

P.S. I am entered into the Princes Park sunset 8 km on Feb 16th.

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5 responses »

  1. Hey hey, you are on you way and it may only be my little opinion but I think your Phd topic is very important and relevant so just stick to that confidence in what you believe.

  2. First day in a new job is always hard. I always feel overwhelmed for about a week then it hits me about a week in that I’m actually smarter than everyone else I work with 😀

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