I still maintain….


that diets are fucked. FUCKED. This is a good conclusion to come to. My gut feeling when it comes to diets is that of fear and trepidation, and I have learned to never, ever ignore my gut feeling (pun absolutely intended).

Yet, I want to lose weight. Not so much for now – I am gradually growing to like myself more as I am.

I know that the older I am, the harder it will be, ditto after kids. Then the kilo creep will have begun and risk of diabetes etc. I also want to feel a little more comfortable in my skin.

So – the question is:

How do I reconcile my love of food, losing weight and accepting/loving myself as I am? Seems a little mutually exclusive, doesn’t it? I discussed this at length with the psychologist today. She is very good.

Well, I have taken a few tentative steps in the right direction, which are:

  • decreasing the number of binges, and the amount eaten.
  • becoming aware of how stress affects my eating, and sometimes acting in the appropriate manner to this.
  • not feeling compelled to eat
  • BEING MINDFUL (not only when eating, but at all times – during stress my mind tends to wander)
  • on this note, truly enjoying indulgences rather than feeling guilty. Guilt is awful.
  • noticed the effects of certain foods on my energy levels eg a carbohydrate heavy lunch equals zzzz in the afternoon.
  • considering exercise not as a great weight loss strategy in itself and on its own, but as a fitness increasing and stress reducing measure. This decreases the need to exercise in a driven (vs enjoyable) manner, and the guilt felt when I am too tired to do it, and also, most importantly, the ravenous compensatory overeating.
  • recognised how stress eating has been positive in the past (YES, positive – it is a potent stress manager). This recognition is important.

I am starting, also, to accept and love myself, which may actually help the process rather than be mutually exclusive to it.

The psychological shifts have occurred but the kilo shift has not – my weight has stabillised, which is one thing I suppose. I am still letting crappy stuff in in too large a quantity (and have discovered the yumminess of grain waves), and also eating too little early in the day, so too much late in the day.

So, what she has told me to do is

  • continue what I am already doing
  • write down my goal
  • to eat regularly – she has emphasised the need to eat regularly and well because my job demands that I am on top of my game.
  • have a good morning tea of fruit and a few nuts, or yoghurt
  • Eat a bigger lunch – we discussed this as well – something akin to Andrew’s bigarse salad, with salad vegies, olives, tuna, beans, boiled spuds, maybe egg or cheese, avocado and dressing. This sounds like something I can enjoy and look forward to, and vary as required to avoid boredom
  • She has not said much about dinner, but intimates that this will probably take care of itself. Same for the carb-heavy snacks.
  • It will initially take planning and discipline (no excuses for this) but will eventually become habit. A habit is much more easy to continue than disciplined behaviour. Left to my own devices, I will be lazy. But I always brush my teeth, and hopefully the planning and preparation will be like brushing my teeth.
  • furthering the burgeoning mindfulness in stressful situations to avoid eating too many comfort foods like the cake I gobbled this morning in a stressful situation.
  • Doing some weights and interval training.
  • She is not a dietician or fitness instructor, but she has eaten well and exercised all her life, and, in her late 40s, the benefits to her appearance are clear.

Anyway that is my thoughts for the evening. I have had a really stressful day at work. It takes its toll. I am tired.

4 responses »

  1. Big-arse salads are awesome!

    I think “diet” is a word that should be struck from the language, they are bad. I prefer to think about it as “fuelling” your body. You wouldn’t put shitty stuff into your car’s petrol tank, so why would you put shit into your mouth.

    I think your plan is excellent.

    I also think that you are very worthy of being loved, so why wouldn’t you love yourself?

  2. I think food you enjoy eating doesn’t make you fat. It’s the food you eat from habit or because it’s in front of you and don’t even realise you are eating it or other reason like that.

  3. This is such a big event for you, I think, to face. I say this because I went through- am going through- the exact same thing. Since the time I began to exercise regularly and incorporate it into my life I used to forget about my eating, saying I could just burn it off and it would work out and eventually I would lose the weight.

    I refused to look at eating. As in the moment the topic came up- whether in conversation or even just in my head these eighteen feet high steel metal mental barriers would shoot up and I would refuse to talk about it.

    The only reason I am now facing all of this is because of Mike, my boyfriend. He went onto optifast as recommended by his nutritionist and I followed suit to support him, totally and completely skeptical. 20kg down later… what can I say?

    Take your time with this, you don’t need to rush. You’re in harmony with your body, listening to it, doing what you can for it. You have a great network of support here, behind you all the way 🙂

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