Clawing my way back….

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It was a difficult start to the week and I have taken things all a bit personally. I have been a bit down on myself: too bossy, too outspoken, too fat, too emotional, too grumpy, spend too much. Yes too fat. It sounds harsh when typed out, so it is good to type it out. It helps me see things clearer.

I have made peace with the first boss – we had a bit of a chat, actually at her instigation. Apparently, my irritation with her has been obvious at times. I am shit at hiding what I really feel, try as I might to hide them. She wants me to tell her if I am cross (nicely, of course) and she said she would try and back off on me a bit. We are getting along much better now, and it is pleasant. However, the state of the workplace is distressing; without giving away too much it is grossly overstretched. I also find it frustrating when dealing with families of punters who don’t care for them – again, without giving too much away. It is all getting to me a bit. The sessions with the psychologist may be stirring things up a bit too.

I have had the arvo off – I went for a swim. I was not able to go in the wuss pool as it was full of kids having swimming lessons, so I went in the outdoor pool. It was quite warm; a bit cold when I first got in, and then I held myself to 10 laps. Usually by that stage I am enjoying my swim so I got to about 16 and then went and had a nice spa. I am feeling quite a bit better now, but I have cringed at the sight of myself in bathers. I don’t know whether I have put on weight or seeing myself in a bad light. I just don’t know. I have been told not to get on the scales for a few weeks.

I have gone and bought myself a nice funny novel to read (Janet Evanovich), and there is a big bang theory marathon on tonight. This should perk me up. And then, of course, there is the weekend.

P.S. My official time for the Run Melb 10km was 1:08:03.

2 responses »

  1. I’m glad things at work calmed down, I hope you’re feeling better mentally and you’re not being so hard on yourself today! We all love you 😀 *hugs*

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