I went again to the psych today.
I learned something: I am quite comfortable with anger as an emotion, but it is sadness that I find difficult.
So I have talked about sad things and felt appropriately sad (this sounds like a stupid thing to say, but having the feeling to go with the talk represents progress). And yes, my eyeballs have been leaky. So I can slowly express sadness, and, with it, I feel less compelled to overeat. Funny, that.
This lady is good.
My eating achievements in the last few weeks have been as follows:
- I did not eat all the chips
- I did not guts myself at Seamstress, nor subsequently at the cinema
- I am mainly just eating when I am hungry, and stopping when I am full
- I have left chocolate and cake in the fridge, and an open bottle of wine in the cupboard, without feeling the need to demolish any of it. Because I have learned that it will still be there tomorrow, and not have spontaneously combusted.
- I am eating what I really feel like and not feeling guilty. For example, today, I wanted a hamburger. I do not know why. I went to a cafe for lunch and they had a hamburger (actually 2 rissoles in a bread roll with bacon and cheese and salad). I passed on the chips. I felt fantastic after because it was exactly what I wanted. I was content with a bowl of soup and a roll and a bit of cheese for dinner. Balance.
- I have only counted calories a few times in the last fortnight or so.
- I have not weighed myself. (Ok I haven’t done this because I am a bit frightened to, but the psych lady has advised me to lay off for a few weeks)