Firstly, a lovely dinner with Morsey – salmon, wine, choc cake. Yumm, and lovely to see her in real life. Good to have friends that actually exist.
I have been waxing lyrical about accepting myself, shortcomings (fat rolls, controversy and zits) with my strengths (brains and a razor wit). I have not been worrying about my diet.
And guess what? I have gained 2.5kgs! Too many happy weeks.
My name is Cilla, and I weigh 77.5kg. (audience claps at bravery).
It is hard to get the balance right. We celebrate all our self-esteem with a faceful of chocolate and just eating too much. So where is the happy medium? The balance between neuroticism/weight loss and self esteem/reckless abandon? I just don’t know, I seek the balance but just have not been able sustain it.
Perhaps the aiming for 2 fruit and 5 veg is a tentative step in the right direction. Worrying about what I should eat rather than obsessing over what I should not. I have honestly charted my food intake on weight watchers, after having just told Kat what an annoying exericse it is. It was a lot. There are too many “celebratory days”; too many excuses to be sociable. It just happens too often. I am frightened to restrict, frightened denial of any food will severely impair my quality of life. I need to challenge this.
I just need to keep stepping in the right direction. I need to just keep trying.