Sydney Weekend 1 of 2

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Well I have just returned from my weekend in Sydney. Great lectures, very educational. Great dinner last night – Seafood buffet with dessert buffet with chocolate fountain (not together, of course!!). How does a 2 course dessert sound?

And yes, I got on the tready at the hotel and did a good honest 20 mins at a good speed. I feel with this 2nd wind at running I am a bit faster. Hopefully I can go just as long.

As I type this I am watching idol, baffled at Liza Minelli. I hate to be a cynic but I smell a big whiff of her hangers on saying “you are running out of moolah so get your painkiller addled arse back out there on a show that has jumped the shark”. I feel sorry for her, she seems to have difficulty speaking. She should be at home taking care herself. But it is lovely to hear the Judy Garland husk in her voice.

My Issues

  • I had a call from my brother on Friday saying that he was worried about our mum. To cut a long story short, she has had a rough time at work, she is off on workcover. She is now obsessed with “taking down” her workplace but still wants to work there. She has taken to looking stuff up on the web about the laws and sending nasty emails to people. I worry that it is the beginning of a downfall in her, because she is not doing anything else but this.
  • The weight. Ahhh, that old chestnut. I have banged on and waxed lyrical before. my head up against the proverbial brick wall. And little, if anything, changes. I had a small epiphany of sorts a few weeks back but it has come to nothing really. It is weight on my hips, tummy and thighs but it mainly is a big weight on my mind because I get obsessed about it, in a terrible guilt-binge-guilt cycle. I even subconsciously aggressively pinch my tummy fat and punch my saddlebags – what gives? The weight on my mind is a burdensome thing. And even if I lost 2, 3, 4 whatever kilos, would I be happy with my body?  Probably not. And that is the big problem. I deserve to be happy with myself, regardless of what the scales say and what changes my body will go through.

So I have emailed a psychologist/hypnotherapist who has experienced in these issues. I am ready to deal with them.

One response »

  1. Hmmm … the old body-image thing can really play on your mind can’t it. I’m a little obsessed about the bit of stomach fat I still have, even though most people think I’m as skinny as a rake. Amazingly I think I’m more worried about it now than I was when I was 40kg overweight. The games our minds can play with us are scary. I manage to avoid the guilt-binge-guilt cycle, but am a bit obsessed in other ways (eg weighing myself before deciding if I can have a snack, or not eating much cos I know I’m not going to fit in any exercise). So, we’re all a bit weird.

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